scribbled at the top of the journal page, in my Dad's handwriting: "This
is the beginning of Nothing!")
Well, what do you know ... here we are again! A
brand new ledger -- 54 whole pages to
fill. It gives me a good feeling. I don't know how long this
one will last ... I go through a smallish
notebook like this one in seconds flat. This one might last until camp
this summer (July 9-21) and maybe, just possibly until school starts
next fall, if I scrimp. But the main purpose of this ledger is for "no
restrictions, free & easy writing and scribbling."
happened today ... first period (Spanish) took notes on Mexican
history. Seconds period (P.E.) we played baseball. Third period
(English) read "Julius Caesar." Fourth period (math) listened to dull,
dull math. Fifth period (American history) got into groups (I'm in a
terrible one -- Joanne W., Penny N. and Sherry
Y.). Sixth period (Home Ec) we had dress rehearsal for our
had my squirt gun taken away!!! (sob, sob)
& I walked to the library, we passed by Brian's house. He was
out in his front yard with Kenny, Brad and Jim, but they ignored me.
-n- Ken R. (or Thaddeus)
Lori N. -n- Scott S.
Rick -n- Kathy
Terri -n- Brian
Sandy -n- John
what a beautiful day ... I felt just terrific, despite having
a painful "party." (Top-secret *girl code* for cramps.) The best
part of my day is 1:00, right between 4th & 5th period, when I
just goof around with all the guys. They were all squirting me with
their squirt guns, and putting their arms around me (kidding-like),
etc. There's this real cute one, Steve Panasuk, that's been hanging around a
had our fashion show today in Home Ec. It went pretty well.
Grandma had more heart trouble today and she's in the hospital again
... God, why???
that, this day wasn't too bad. We had a super-hard,
super-long test in first period on Spanish history, played work-up in
P.E. (I'm on Angie's team). Third, we read more J.C. and did these
worksheets. At my favorite time of the day, Scott Shearer was
putting his arm around me, pretending to trap me in
the classroom. Steve talked to me some more, squirted me with
his squirt gun.
After Grandma's second heart attack, my
brother and I were sent to live with our father.
I just can't believe it ... tomorrow, Dick and I, after living in this
beloved house with our grandparents for ten years, are leaving
for good. It's inevitable - I've always known
that - but I was just hoping it wouldn't be so
soon. I'm really torn up inside ... I'm leaving an old, old friend, the
place of my childhood, and starting a new, strange way of life, living
scared, Ledger ...
for Grandma's good, I know and realize that, but even that fact can't
soften the blow any. It still hurts, and it's going to continue to hurt
until we finally settle down. Oh, I can't stop crying ...
Packing to move out of my childhood home
have about 3-4 hours left in this house. I
just know I'm going to make a scene, but I can't help it. Every song
they play on the radio seems so heart-breakingly sad. I don't want to
go ... I just can't say goodbye. SO SAD!
After going to
live with Dad ...
Tuesday 8:00 p.m.
it isn't too bad (living with Dad), although I am immensely
homesick. I keep thinking I can turn around and go back ... I can't, I
found a beautiful house (10th & 129th). We may or may not get
I like: "Sweet Mary" by Wadsworth Mansion,
"Rain Dance" by The Guess Who,
"She Didn't Do Magic" by Lobo
For the first couple of weeks we
lived in Dad's cramped little bachelor pad in Rainier Valley.
Friday 9:07 p.m.
are working out pretty well (living with Dad) ...
life's a whole new bag! Although this apartment living isn't
all that great (cramped quarters and stuff), I can foresee a lot of
changes in my lifestyle for the good!
a new house ... a beautiful, green, three
bedroom, one level house that I LOVE already! 13652 18th
South -- SOOO close to
our school, and just a few blocks from my
friend Sandy. Hurrah! No boring, lonely summer days
... we're moving in this weekend. Other things:
I've got my own BIG bedroom.
I can get my ears pierced. HURRAY!!!!!!!!
Dad doesn't care how many parties (slumber, boy-girl) we go to
or have ("They're fine, they're good for you,"
etc.), how many friends we have over, or anything about our social
life. I've been a little timid about broaching the dating question, but
I wouldn't be surprised if that were soon on the agenda.
M. asked me to come to his party tonight -- after talking to
him, I got the definite impression that he was planning on "pairing up"
with me. SICK!! Oh, grossest of all gross thoughts!
it! I like Tom again! I WISH I WOULD MAKE UP MY
MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He was voted
9th grade boy with "the Prettiest Teeth." (oh my gosh)
13652 18th Avenue South, Seattle.
(Dad and I called it "The Smith House," in honor
of the landlord who later evicted us.)
I spent the happiest summer of my life in this house.
of anonymous notes) written on my desk in Spanish class:
does Terri Vert like?"
"Who wants to know?"
"Matt Videen. Who's this?"
"Penny Nicholes. Why do you want to know?"
"For the hell of it."
"She likes Tom Whidden."
"Does he like her?"
"I doubt it."
was a good day. I spent the night with Sandy last night, then
we went to her church this morning. Then Karen, Kathy Nelson & me went
swimming at Evergreen pool (again). Greg Nelson & Frank Clenny
were there, and they kind of hung around us. Karen came over for dinner
and to stay overnight (so did my brother's friends,
the Joseph brothers). At night, we were goofing around in the
park and Greg & Frank showed up out of nowhere. They
were giving us motorcycle rides. Karen likes Frank (so do I,
5, 1972 'bout 8:00 p.m.
(A couple of weeks after I wrote this
journal entry, I went back & made a lot of snarky comments
about it, which I've transcribed here in italics.)
brother ... do I ever have a super big hurkin' crush on Tom ... (how
sickening) ... with only 4 days of school left. (Oh,
sob! sob!) Ouch. "You don't know you've had it
till it's gone." True, true. (How terrible) He'll
go off to Highline next year (thank goodness),
probably meet some other girl (who cares? poor girl),
they'll fall madly, passionately in love with each other, and he'll
completely forget me. What a horrible thought (oh dear),
but it'll probably prove to be true. I love him. (indecipherable
cloud of ink scribbling) (Go ahead, future, write some cute
little smart reply to that one. (OK, I will!) I
really do. (Do you really?) Well. First of all,
Regina talked to him today. Sus conversacion:
T: "Yeah?" (Intelligent, oh so intelligent)
R: "Terri likes you again."
T: "No foolin'?" (No, you idiot, she's fooling you.)
T: "No kiddin'?" (Oh brother ...)
T: "Hmmmm." (Great reply)
R: "Do you like her?"
T: "I don't know." (Boy, you tell her)
R: "C'mon, do you?"
T: "Yah, I get so, but I'm tired of always breaking up with
also said something about how he wasn't going to tell me (that he likes
me). Why? Amy talked to him too, wrote him a note.
do I like Tom.
conversation was between him and Penny. It was before History. I waited
inside the room before class (hiding) while Penny waited for him to
"Tom, stay here a minute." (He kept walking)
P: "Tom, I've got to TALK to you. (He finally stopped) "Tom
you've got to talk to Terri today, she really likes you a whole lot,
she really does, so you've got to talk to her today, before it's too
late and school ends. Do you like her?"
T: (Smiling and walking away) "I might."
P: "Tom, just tell me, do you or don't you? She really,
really likes you a whole lot - she doesn't want to break up, but she
wants to talk to you. She would talk to you herself, but she thinks you
don't like her. She's been sick all day, thinking you hate her. Do you
T: "I might."
If I only KNEW! If he does like me, he can come over in the summer, and
we can go for long walks, and we can see each other ... beautiful
dream! I love him, I love him, I love him.
are certain "complications." For one, did you know that he was a
Jehovah's Witness, with a pious and strict father (no girls, no
parties, no 'fooling around,' no long hair, no abstaining from a rigid
religious code)?? Oh dear. Also, why is he taking so LONG to make the
first move? Why doesn't he DO something? What good is love if it's
unrequited? TOM ... the time is NOW!!
was absent this morning ... just about gave me a coronary upset. I was
walking around, down in the dumps, really depressed because he was
gone, when he suddenly showed up during 2nd period!! I was so happy and
relieved. I guess he missed the bus or something. Anyway, during 3rd
period, good ol' Amy talked to him, as usual, and she kept on telling
him to talk to me "before it's too late." He kept on saying that he
didn't want to talk to me, that he had nothing to say to me (boost my
ego, boy). Finally, Amy persuaded him ("OK, I'll talk to her) and Amy
said that she and Penny would leave so we could be alone together.
That's what they did, all right. They abandoned
me, and I was SO nervous! ("What on earth am I going to
SAY?!?!?!?!?!?!?") With my heart in my mouth and nowhere to go, I
headed for the library. I knew he was following me - I just had this
feeling. Once in the library, I pretended to be very busy at the card
catalog, looking up concentration camps don't you know, when I heard
the librarian announcing, "Girls, the library is closed." Oh
great! Now what do I do?? I turn around and find myself face to face
with Tom. The Moment of Truth.
you want to talk to me?" I say.
don't care," says The Man of My Dreams.
proceed to the cafeteria, where we finally have the little heart to
heart, soul to soul talk that I had been counting on, with me doing
most of the talking. I found out: A.) He doesn't hate me. B.) He still
likes me. I actually asked him outright, "Do you like me?" Where I
scraped up the raw nerve, I haven't the foggiest. He said yes, but the
way he said it made me think something was amiss. I said, "But see, I
don't know what to do, because you're going to Highline next year and
when would I ever see you?" He said, "Well, there's the whole summer."
I could have kissed him right then and there!!! I told him that he
could come over to my new house any time.
got out yesterday - 3 whole months of freedom! It seems like
only yesterday that it was last summer, me -n- Pat, Kim -n- Phil.
brother ... I was so worried about Tom not liking me - do you know what
he wrote in my annual?? "I can't say anything except that I
love you and I mean it - Tom." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He
also sat by me on the bus home (I went home with Penny) and told me
that he was planning on seeing me almost every day this
summer. Wonderful ... ?
spent the night at Penny's house last night, and tonight Penny's
staying here at my house. We went to the park, were following around
these two guys, Blondie and Green Shirt (unobviously, of
course, ha ha), and were being followed by this sickening
little family quartet ("Gimme an F!") that just moved into the
neighborhood, the Japaniers.
went to Penny's church today - they were having a "birthday party for
everyone," with this fantastically gorgeous cake - any cake that looked
that good has just naturally got to TASTE good too, right? Wrong. The
frosting tasted like toothpaste ...
afternoon Karen, Dick and I went to Evergreen Pool. Karen, me and these
two really nice girls from Puget, Renae and Katie, were chasing around
this fat, creepy girl (dunno her name). The Japaniers were there,
and I walked to the library, only to find it closed. I wanted to get a
copy of The Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing "The Hallelujah Chorus"
(LUV that song!) but since it was closed, I guess I'll have to go back
tomorrow. I want to put it on the tape I'm making.
made some crank calls on the extension phone, and then she called up
Tom and told him to call me. He did! As usual, I carried the
weight of the conversation, with an occasional animalistic grunt or
guffaw from his end. The most intelligent thing he said was, "Today I
mowed the lawn."
to Teen Scene (at church)
at night - I'm on Team 1, and so far we're ahead with 1700 points!!! We
played volleyball (we won, naturally). There's these two really cute
guys on our team, Marty and Dale (what a tan!) Dale is after
(who else?) Cheryl and Thea, but Marty was giving me some pretty hefty
glances. Maybe ...
and I walked to the (Boulevard Park) library. I checked out: "To Teens
With Love," "The Teddy Bear Habit," "No More Septembers," "Amalie's
Story," and the June issue of Seventeen. Then we went to
Mansfield's, where I had a cherry shake and some of Sandy's french
fries. Tom called while I was gone, but he didn't call back.
I recorded some of my fave songs off of Sandy's Partridge Family album.
Teen Scene tonight, we played (yuck) softball - I hit a triple!! Doug
Mattson was there, and he was acting mighty friendly. He said he was
coming over tomorrow morning. Did he? (Yes.)
June 14, 1972
was a rainy, dismal day. Dick, Junior Barnes (our dog) and I stayed
home all morning, just goofing around. Doug was supposed to come over
(he said to my brother yesterday, "Even though I'm going with Kim, I
wouldn't mind having two girlfriends," with an evil gleam in his eye,
and he seemed delighted when he found out that my Dad was
going to be working all day) but I guess the rain stopped him.
came over later in the afternoon, and her and Dick and me worked on a
script for a tape recording. ("Dr. Melvin, Lavinia Lavielle L'Amour,
King Cotton," etc.) until the Josephs arrived. Boy, were they dirty
Teen Scene (Doug, Karen and I walked over together - Karen had stayed
for dinner, and Doug came over and picked me up), we played soccer (we
won!) and that's about all. Karen spent the night. She and I were
making phone calls this afternoon ("Hello Dad, would you
please come and pick us up?") Tom didn't call or come over
or anything. TRAGEDY!
June 15, 1972
a day ... Karen made more "calls," some of them turned out pretty good.
Then, she (horror of horrors) called up Tom! She told him
that I was outside, and that she wanted him to call me, and that I
wanted him to come over. He called, all right (we recorded the
conversation) and he's going to Alaska for two months!!!! I'm sort of
sad, sort of relieved. Then, when he announced he was coming over, I
panicked. We fled to the park, goofed around on the swings, the merry
go round, ran in the sprinklers, and joined in on Greg and
Kevin's game until Tom joined us. Then we went to my house and fooled
around till Dad came home, and Tom finally left.
and I went to Grandma and Grandpa's house, picked up my stuff.
night, after Teen Scene (we went bowling, yuck), I played mental tug of
war. Larry, Marty, Kelly, Doug, Phil, Larry, Marty, Kelly, Doug, Phil
... but on the ride home I sat by Phil (Rehberg) so I guess that's who I
like. I dunno. We'll see.
June 19th, 1972
just got home from the retreat to Lilly Dell Dunes, and I have so much
of all, at this exact moment -- Monday,
June 19th, 1972, at approximately 7:15 p.m. -- I am madly,
passionately in love with John Riley. (Sigh, beautiful name.)
He's an eighth grader, goes to Sunset and to my church, with
long, shaggy blonde hair and fantastic big green eyes.
by Phil on the 4-1/2 hour trip down to Long Beach, Wa. (fell asleep on
his shoulder), and as the result of my unintended attentions he now
likes me. (So doth Douglas Mattson.) I was in a cabin called
"Seahorse" with Karen, Kathy Nelson, her cousin Patty Maher, Jeannie
Somebody (Ryan's girlfriend), Belinda Sine, Kathy Smith and Kathi Wright
as our counselor. I was on Team 1 - Rob Colvin and Kathy Wieker were our
leaders, our team was me, Ryan, Kathy Nelson, Thea, Lora M., Jim
Somebody, David Smith, Don S. and Doug.
1 - After we arrived, we went wading in the ocean (got my jeans soaking
wet). I was just standing on the beach, looking off into the sunset,
when Marty, secret guy of my dreams at the moment, came up to me out
of the clear blue sky and started talking to me. It turns out that I've
admired him from afar, and vice versa. Beautiful!
2 - My feelings (for Marty) waned somewhat. He seldom talked, and when
he did, it was sports this and sports that. He reminded me SO MUCH of
Tom, it wasn't funny. After team games and all that kind of stuff, we
went to the jetty. Climbing over all those steep rocks in silence with
Marty at my heels was no picnic, I can assure you, but the view was
worth it. I decided that I didn't like him as a boyfriend, after
all, and I told Karen so ... and she went and TOLD
him! She thought she was doing me a favor, but I got so mad
at her that by the time I was done fussing and fuming, the whole camp
hated her. You should have seen Marty at dinner - he was really super
crushed. He didn't eat a thing (we roasted hot dogs over the campfire)
and he sat across the fire from me, his head in his hands. Thea, Lora
and Cheryl - the "in" girls, HA HA - immediately jumped to my aid and
together we waged a battle with Karen that lasted approximately three
hours, when she and I made up at team games ("If ya love me honey,
smile" - I chose John). Marty sat by me - apparently his little
"conversation" with Karen hadn't proved effective. DRAT.
3 - We had morning devotions, built sand castle forts against the tide,
had a fun water fight, played basketball, and a zillion and one other
things. Karen and I had another fight, this time because she's flirting
with Marty like crazy. Sometimes she makes me sick. Had an evening
campfire. I'm hanging around now with Judy, Marty's younger sister.
Four - This morning, after breakfast, washing dishes and cleaning up
& packing, we left. We stopped off in town for 2 hours - Judy
and I wandered around all over the place. I now like (adore) John, who
used to be Karen's boyfriend, and Karen likes Marty, who used to be my
boyfriend. Judy and me sat behind Phil and John all the way home on
the bus, and we talked and had a good time. When we got to the church
and were just waiting around for our parents to come, Karen told John
that I liked him. According to her, he just sort of half-smiled and
said, "Oh?" He didn't have a ride home, so we took him home (!!!!!) and
on the way stopped off at the store. Him and me went in together,
picked out a TV dinner.
'IM! PRAISE THE LORD!
gotta be more of a lady, or so sayeth Mikie Lee, to show God that I'm
worthy of womanhood. Also, can't do anything to stir up a guy's
June 20, 1972
in real late. Karen and I went to Jr. High Folk Singing Practice at
1:00, and then her, me, Judy and Colleen went swimming in the indoor
pool at Glen Terrace. (Colleen and I are cousins! Just found that out
today! Her last name is Naff.) It was raining and freezing, so Judy
and I got out after a little while. Marty was there but he totally
ignored me. Karen is madly in love with him, so naturally she just
gushed all over the place. Sick.
Colleen, Judy and Karen spent the night at my house. We used the Ouija board,
and my gawd, the thing worked. Scared me half to death. (We asked it what color my toothbrush was,
and it spelled out "B-L-U-E" - all by itself. I haven't
touched a Ouija board since.)
Judy and Marty's big brother, Vernon, is so cute.
June 21, 1972
all went to Soutchcenter today for 3-4 hours. I took $6.25, and bought
some skin cream, a 45 ("Immigration Man" by Crosby & Nash, my
favorite!), a razor and a balloon. We had lunch at Farrell's, I had a
banana split. Karen and Judy are obviously best friends
now and it hurts.
June 22, 1972
I got a new kitten (boy? girl?) and I'm going to call her? him?
Benjamin Beezalbaum, "Benji" for short. He's 3 months old, a mixture of
grey and black and white, and at this exact moment, he's staggering all
over my bedroom floor, drunk on catnip. Vernon, Marty and Judy (the
kids I got him from) claim he's the smartest and most playful one of
the litter. Karen and I walked up to Judy's to pick him out (long
walk). Karen, Judy, Moni, Valerie and me walked down to
7-11 and the library. Judy is friendlier towards me now than Karen. I
saw Marty at Judy's house (he got a hair trim) and Karen went out of
her way to prove to him what a super big crush she has on him. We
looked at some pictures of the Griffin kids when they were little.
like Marty and/or Vernon, and Marty and me kept giving each other
my first kitty, "Benjamin Beezelbaum"
June 23, 1972
Barnes was poisoned today - we think he accidentally ate some kitty
litter. He's real sick. (Later we realized that Junior wasn't
poisoned after all - he had distemper. By the end of the summer he'd
died from it.)
came over today. We made some crank calls, one to her Uncle Merlin, and
called up John Sharick for about a half hour. I told her all about Marty
and John and Judy and all the other major characters that have
entered my life during the past week or so. Tom called twice, I hung up
on him both times (he makes me soo-oo-oo sick). Then later Sandy called
Hello, may I talk to Tom?
S: Tom, this is a friend of Terri's, and you know when you called this
S: Well, I'm sorry I hung up on you, I thought you were somebody else.
T: That's OK.
S: Should I have her call you when she gets back?
T: Well ... (long pause) ... have her call me between 4:30 and 6:30, I
ought to be home around then.
S: OK, she ought to be back by then. She's gone to the movies with
T: WHO'S JOHN?
S: Oh - a friend. Well, 'bye. Oh my god we were so EVIL.
got my bookcase and my sewing machine/desk (from Grandma and Grandpa's
house), and after a lot of hard work my room finally looks like a room.
June 24, 1972
and I walked/rode over to Judy's house - Judy got her ears pierced
- and together we walked over the drug store, 7-11 and Mansfields to
get some cotton and alcohol. At Mansfields I bought an ice cream cone,
and we saw that horrible girl that Karen & me were bothering
and picking fights with at Evergreen Pool.
went to Judy's house, and Marty and Vernon were both there. Marty
and I have been exchanging "the
look" again ... hmmm, I wonder .... ? Karen claims she would hate me
forever if I took Marty away from her, but still - I wish John would
come home from Vancouver, then I could find out how he feels (about
June 25, 1972
this morning I went to church and babysat in the nursery. It was sort
of boring, and I went to 11 o'clock service with Karen and Cheryl Nyholm.
Karen and I wrote notes back and forth, mostly about Marty.
spent the day at home for a change - I made up a list of some of the
things I'll need for camp, two weeks from today. We watched "The
Reluctant Astronaut" on TV.
I went to evening services, Marty was there, and he sat between Karen
and me. He sat so close to me, touching so much, that I was practically
in his lap! We saw some home movies and slides of Explo '72, when Pat
and Cathi Foote and some other people from our church went.
Afterwards, Marty, Karen and me sat outside and talked and stuff,
about school, teachers, past teachers, etc. He likes me, I can just
tell, and so can Karen. Luckily she isn't too upset ...
I sorta like him, and it was pretty neat when he sat by me and all.
June 26, 1972
I went over to Judy's. Dad stayed home from work sick so he gave me a
ride over to her house. We went down to the library, to Mansfields (I
got a banana milk shake), to 7-11, the drugstore (I got a Rally candy
bar) and to Southern Heights school. After we got tired of hanging
around her house, watching The Newlywed Game and all, she and I walked
down to my house. Dad was sleeping, so we stationed ourselves in my
room, where we discovered a secret trap door in my closet. We meandered
over to the park, swung on the swings, went around on the broken merry
go round, and then sat on top of the dirt hill and just talked. I saw Marty at her house.
she went home, she asked him who he likes, and he only likes Karen as a
friend but me as a "lot more than a friend."
and I are planning a surprise party for Judy on Thursday.
came home from Oklahoma today - good. Also, Laurie (Griffeth) paid me
$3.00 for babysitting. Boy, can I use that money!!
June 27, 1972
Judy's 12th birthday
at 1:00 I went to Folk Singing Practice at the church (I saw Marci
Boyd! haven't seen her since we were little kids, when her dad was my
piano teacher!) Marty was there, and Karen was as obnoxious
around him as always, and I got so fed up that I told her that he likes
me better than her, and that if she wanted him to like her, that she
shouldn't be so gushy and everything around him.
singing practice, Mr. Boyd is our leader and he is so weird now! We
have this one new song and he wants us to whistle
the ending! Oh brother ...
gave Judy this really cute card for her birthday. After practice, we
loaded up the van and went out to Alki Point, looked around the beach,
and then went down to the waterfront. Karen, Colleen, Judy and I went
to Ye Olde Curiousity Shoppe and Trident Imports. I was dying to talk
to Marty, to ask him if he likes Karen. I know he would have said no,
but it would've given me a chance to read between the lines and figure
out how he felt about me and stuff.
we got back I stopped off at Karen's house for a sec, had a Pepsi and
talk. I read her journal (shocking!) and she showed me her Job's
real good news was when Judy called tonight after dinner. Next
Tuesday our church is going to the Fun Forest, and Judy and Marty
have an aunt who works there & can get them free tickets for
all the rides. Anyway, Judy overheard Marty talking to their mom,
and he was trying to wangle an extra set of tickets, so that he could
ask me to go on the rides with him. Hoo boy ... Karen is going to be
pictures of Benji & the dogs.
Hanging out with Jasper (left) and Junior Barnes (right)
June 27, 1972
June 28, 1972
got up super early this morning and took a shower and washed my hair.
Karen came over about 11:00, we just hung around the house. Karen made
a few more calls, and we layed outside in the sunshine until Penny
dropped over. I'm afraid that she and Karen don't like each other all
that much. Oh great.
three went over to the park, sat on the picnic table with Lori Price
of next year's cheerleaders) and watched a bunch of guys playing
football. Karen stayed to dinner, and then we went to Bible Study.
Marty was there but he totally ignored me, 'cept he sat right behind
me on the floor when we were singing. Yah, I think I like him.
Karen gave me this note that said that I could "have Marty if I want him." Sure made me feel guilty. Spent the
night at Karen's.
like him or not to like him ... that is the question. Is it worth it to
make a good friend sad by taking her potential boyfriend? I dunno.
June 29, 1972
an absolutely fantabulous day! Karen and I had a quickie breakfast, and
then Dad came over and picked me up, took me over to the orthodontist's
office for my appointment. Dr. Oliver took the bands off my six year
molars, so now I don't have to wear rubber bands anymore and it really
11:00 our church group went over to Lake Sammamish for a day of water
skiing and swimming. The sun was shining, it was just beautiful, and we
had a great time! Marty sat by me on the way over (fun). At first, we
went for a swim (I wore Karen's yellow bikini) and then we just
wandered over to watch the water skiers, ate our lunches and stuff.
Judy and me rode in the boat three times, the last time when Marty
was skiing. (Tom Horton: "Is he your GUY friend?")
Then we swam for a little while more, and then watched the guys playing
football. Marty sat by me on the way back, too - I amost went to sleep
on his shoulder!! (Wouldn't that have been cute.) Karen flirted as
usual but I don't care, and I don't blame her either. After all, she's
a pretty good friend.
got a sunburn!!! All over my back, face and arms. OUCH.
swimming, Judy went home for dinner at Karen's house, and I went with
Colleen. We swung by my house, picked out some records, then picked up
Judy's birthday cake at Albertsons. After dinner and feeding the
ducks in the pond, we walked over to Judy's and threw her surprise
party. Actually, the party itself was a total flop. The girls, all
potential 7th graders, wanted to do the dumbest things, like having a
dance contest. Marty and Vernon "hid" in their room the
entire party. However ... for the last 1-1/2 hr. or so, Marty, me -n-
Karen sat around and talked while the kids played outside. Boy, was
that fun!! I never knew Marty could talk that much! Him and I sat on
the couch together, Karen sat in a a chair. I called Dad at about 10:45
to come pick me up (he was a little upset) and before he came, Marty
goes, "Ya want to go outside and wait for him?" I know that he would
have done something (!!!) but just then Dad pulled up.
was babysitting next door for David & Jody, so I went over and
kept him company for a while.
End (of a beautiful day)!
June 30, 1972
for the first day of this entire summer vacation, I sort of took a
"breather." After puttering around the house all morning,
doing my housework, I donned a pair of hotpants and the shirt Uncle
Dick gave me for Christmas and went outside - tried to tan my legs. I
also made a collage of Camp Firwood - oh so creative.
came over later this afternoon, we just talked and stuff. She tried to
get hold of Marty on the phone, to finish a little conversation they'd
had after I left last night that was interrupted when her mom came and
picked her up, but he wasn't home. It seems that he (quote) "feels
like an ass" whenever he talks to me, and sort of gets the
impression that I don't like him. The thing is, I don't KNOW if I do or
not ... I'm just sort of waiting to find out how John Riley feels and
Dick and I went shopping. I got a pair of flare-legged jeans, and an
absolutely darling blue- checked smock, plus a bunch of other stuff for
Colleen and her dad (my dad's cousin Bob) came and picked me up, and we
went swimming in the pool at her apartment. I had lunch there - raw
hamburgers and about a zillion Bugles and some ginger ale. We
sunbathed, walked down to the store, and then about 3:00 we walked over
to my house.
5:00 we took her home, went over to pick up Karen. She's spending the
talked to Marty on the phone - he definately likes me, seemed
obviously relieved that I was going to the Fun Forest, and promised to
come to church tomorrow morning.
has got to be a candidate for best day of the summer, even though it
started out absolutely lousy. Actually, to be more specific, it should
be a candidate for best evening of the summer.
The evening brought deliriously happy news!
and I got up real super early and got all fancied up for church. Dad
drove us over, and we went to Sunday School and church. Marty wasn't
there! (But Kim Houk Gilbert was. It was great to
see her: I've really
missed her since she and her family moved.)
Becki Pozzi's brother Clint and Sue Yhe, a candidate for Miss Burien I
think, played and sang for us. After church Dad, Dick and I went and
had a hamburger and Coke at Arctic Circle, and then we went car
shopping. We're pretty sure that we're going to get this real cool Vega
we went and spent a couple of hours at Grandma and Grandpa's. (Donny
Dorris died, Gillie's married and pregnant, Linda's pregnant again.)
was all set to go to evening service tonight, to see my "beloved"
Marty, when Karen called up and said that he had just called her. He
couldn't go to church that night, and he wanted to know if Karen had
talked to me and found out whether I liked him or not yet. She told him
that she didn't know whether or not I like him. Good girl, Karen! Keep
him in suspense! Well, anyway, I got all depressed and
everything, and told her that I wasn't going to go to church at all. I
was VERY downcast and in an extremely bitchy mood. When, low and
behold, Karen called me from the church - and told me Marty was there!
I got ready for church so fast you wouldn't believe it! Dad rushed me
right over. We had a sit-down sharing service, and I sat on the floor
between Marty and Karen (natch). We sang a lot of songs, shared
testimonies, and during this one prayer we had to hold hands with the
people next to us!!!!!! I almost died!! Dad didn't come pick us up
until 45 minutes after the service.
After Marty and Lori left,
Karen used the office phone and called up Marty, pretending she was
home and that I wasn't there. They talked for about 10 minutes, and
believe me they had one whopper of a conversation!! Here is the gist of
what they said: He likes me as a girlfriend, and he's going to ask me
to go with him, as soon as he can buy a ring - and he's planning on
spending at least $30.00 on it!!!!! He doesn't know when he's going to
ask me, but it may be on Wednesday when we go to the Fun Forest. He's
planning on taking me on all the rides, but we told him I may not be
able to go, just to give him a little scare. (But I'm pretty sure I'll
go.) Karen explained to him that I'm a Christian, and that I
don't like it when guys try to impress me by showing how "cool" they
are (smoking, drinking, taking dope, etc.), using Tom as an example.
She told him that I like him as a boyfriend ("That's cool," he said)
and that I "thought he was real sweet." One time he said, "Well, when
school starts I won't ever see her" (because he'll be going to Glendale
and I'll be going to Sunset). Karen told him that he should start
coming to all the church stuff, and that he could come over to my house
enny ol' tyme.
July 3, 1972
came over early this morning (naturally). I finished up a HUGE pile of
dishes, then washed my hair and we laid outside and sunbathed. We were
waiting for KOL to play this one song, "We Gotta Live For The Sun" by
The Sun Rays, so that we could record it, but they never did.
Sharrick and Doug Matson came over, so did Joleen Johnson. Karen and I sat
out in the front yard, playing the guitar and sketching. Marty called.
called John - he's back in town!!!
July 4, 1972
a terrific day! I went with Karen to the J.C. Penney's Picnic - a whole
day of swimming, picnicking and sunbathing at Lake Surprise! There were
about a zillion people there, and Karen and I met this really super
sweet guy, Rick Phenis - (super cute, too). He acted really
friendly towards me. Him, Karen and I really had a blast on the
intertubes. At the end, we gave him our phone numbers, and he's going
to call me at 1:00 on Thursday.
July 5, 1972
afternoon at about 1:00 I went to Jr. High Choir Practice (I was half
an hour late), and then we went to the Seattle Center and the Fun
Forest. Colleen, Karen, Marty, John (!!!) and me hung around together.
We went to the Spook House in the Food Circus, went around to some
games, spin-painted, and went on some rides. I went on the Matterhorn
twice, once with Marty and again with John. (I enjoyed being with John
more.) Marty held my hand on the ride - what could I do??? He did it
again on the way home. But, at evening Bible Study, he totally ignored
me. (I was in John's group with Phil, Colleen and Joe Gant.)
likes me: his brother Ryan told me so.)
says that Marty is mad because he wants to get me alone, but Colleen's
always hanging around. Tough. Besides, I'm not even sure I like him!!!
Colleen spent the night tonight.
July 6, 1972
Rick (the boy from the J.C. Penney's
picnic) called!! We made a date to meet at
Southcenter tomorrow afternoon. He is so sweet! Karen and me
tape-recorded the conversation.
over at 2:00 and stayed for THREE HOURS. We were going to go swimming
at Lake Terrace, but thank goodness I got out of that one. He sat on
the couch with Karen (ha! ha!) and I sat on the chair. We just talked,
but just before he left he goes, "Can I talk to ya?" I was so scared -
I thought he was going to ask me to go with him or something, or make
some sort of "move" that would be completely undesired. Do you know
what happened????? He says, "Well, all I wanted to say was, I won't see
you until you go to camp, and I hope you have fun." !!!!!!
got our new car today! A gorgeous, BRAND NEW, lime green Vega Coupe.
Dad took Karen, Dick and me to dinner at Vince's, where we ordered four
super huge pizzas. Then we went to see Grandma and Grandpa for a while,
and Karen spent the night.
got really sick tonight - headache, sore throat, dizziness, fever - I
think I have the flu. Great.
(and poor doomed little Junior Barnes)
felt a little better today. My soprano recorder came from Sears today!!
Hooray! Rick called up, said he couldn't go to Southcenter, so Karen
and I went shopping in Burien instead. I took $25.00 with me
- bought three shirts, a record ("Rocket Man" by Elton John,
luv that song!), some blusher, and some Nair. Karen and I got our
pictures taken in one of those little boothie-deals. We saw Cheryl Nyholm
at GovMart Baza'ar. Mom and Debbie Jeanne came over for a while.
feel slightly worse.
GONE FOR TWO
WEEKS TO CAMP FIRWOOD, JULY 9-21
Me at Camp Firwood, July 1972
week ago tonight ... that's all I can think about. I was at camp, at
our final campfire, sitting between Kerry and George, "touched and
touching" ... oh, it was beautiful ...
life luven: Marty now likes Karen, who is in Arizona for several
weeks. Rick likes me, and we have a "date" for this Saturday night. I
saw John Riley last night at church, not sure what's going on
there. Kerry asked me to go with him in his last letter.
George just wrote me a "love letter" a couple days ago ... sweet. I
haven't heard from Clancy yet, and I expect a letter from Tusk in the
next couple of days. I haven't gotten around to writing to Mark yet.
got my ears pierced two days ago - it cost $5.78, and I got them done
at Jorstad's. I couldn't believe how quick and painless it was - it
took less than two minutes!
Letters from a couple of my camp boyfriends:
got your letter and I'm going to answer your questions first. First of
all I am not mad at you for anything. The next thing is your
age doesn't bug me and don't let it bug you. And when you were holding
hands with George didn't make me mad. Oh I almost forgot, I miss you
too and can hardly wait until you come back. The first time
I saw you I didn't like you because I thought that you wouldn't have
any interest in a guy like me. I'm glad you like me, because as
soon as I saw any chance of taking you to the Banquet I was the
happiest guy in our cabin.
I want to explain
something to you -
I've had a few girlfriends with good looks and a few with a good
personality, but you have both and that's why I like you so much. Terri
I don't want you to think I'm mad at you. I was just jealous because I
know a lot of boys that would like to have a girlfriend like
you, and I'm lucky I do. I might as well ask you now, do you want to go
with me? Answer in your next letter.
I am dishwashing now
and hope to buy an O'Brien water ski.
Well, I have to go and mail this now so I can get it to you.
It always took me a while to get
over feeling 'campsick' whenever I came home from Firwood: I would
be on a weird spiritual high for weeks afterward.
I'm so campsick I just can't stand it ... I long for the fellowship and
love that was so genuine and pure there, for the beautiful people that
I grew to love so deeply ... life here seems so crude and unreal. I am
an unwilling prisoner of the plastic society, where only the artificial
and the ugly can survive. I want to break out ... get away, start all
over again. I miss Tusk most of all, I think, and Kerry and Clancy too.
They were like brothers, because we all loved one another and shared
the promise of eternal life in Christ. It was absolutely beautiful, and
leaving it all was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my
life. People yelling, swearing, car exhaust, T.V. commercials, loud
music, anger, bad feelings, teasing, invasion of privacy ...
it all piles up until I could just scream. I've got to get
away from it all!!!!!! The frustration of trying to cope in an
un-Christianlike atmosphere is more than I can bear, and I know I'm
going to break any minute now. Where can I find a refuge?? An escape,
any place where I can get away from all this? Why is the world like
August 1, 1972
hasn't written yet - neither has Tusk. Hmmm. I sure hope nothing is
wrong between us. Tusk means an awful lot to me, as more than a brother
or a good friend. I know I love him, but I wonder how much. He's 22,
but he told me during one of our long, fantastic talks, that he
considered me to be so much more mature than the other girl campers, so
level-headed and "together." He said that he didn't understand why he
was so concerned with me, and why he felt so close to me, and that he
"felt like a dirty old man" just knowing me. In my autograph book he
always hated writing in these little books because I didn't know what
to say - but this particular time I've got too MUCH to say. Sometimes
it bothers me that I should be so concerned about you,
because I feel like a dirty old man, but it seems as though maybe I've
gained another sister. Terri, I never really took the time
to get to know any of my real sisters very well - and least of all did
I ever learn to let the Lord love through me ... I just want you to
that I care - that I want you to feel that I'll always be around
somewhere to care, that He loves you and loves you also through me.
August 10, 1972
still haven't gotten a letter from Tusk, and to tell you the truth I'm
a little hurt and a lot worried. A thousand and one "What ifs?" keep
pounding into my brain. It's hard to tell how I feel about him ... he's
so elusive. He's the most wonderful person I've ever met (outside of
Jesus!) and I'd hate for whatever there was between us to die.
today our church group is going to Lake Sammamish again for the
day. I think John Riley is going, but I don't really
care. He came over yesterday, and he, Karen and I went to the library.
Wooppee. It was an absolute DRAG. The night before yesterday, Karen and
I were having a water fight and washing Dad's car, and John rode by on
his bike. He came by and joined us - I must admit, THAT was kinda fun.
did I have fun!! John acts like he likes me - good. There's this kid,
an extremely obnoxious 7th grader named Brian Watkins, who likes me now.
Terrific. Karen thinks he's the most.
happy day!!!!! John likes me! It's definate, definate, definate! Oh
fantastic!!! I just cannot believe it! I definately hadn't learned how
to spell the word "definite" yet.
is how it all happened: This morning I went to Sunday School (I wore my
blue skooter skirt, my white blouse and sailboat shrink, my "coffeebean
brown" nylons and my white shoes) and both John and Brian were there.
They sat across the room from me. Brian kept looking at me and saying
stuff like, "God, she's cute!" and "I'm in love." I was so embarrassed!
Every time he said or did something stupid (every few seconds), I could
feel John looking at me, and we'd exchange that meaningful, "isn't-
he-a-dumb-little-child" look. I mean it, John kept
looking at me! What a trip!
Well. By the time evening service rolled
around, I was sure of who I liked. It was a choice between Marty,
Kerry, George, Clancy, John, Mark or Brian, and guess who won? John, by
a landslide. Karen and I were babysitting in the nursery, and I was so
upset, because I didn't think he liked me. I was so miserable that at
last Karen called him up. Their conversation is classic, and I'll
cherish it always. I've recopied it, word for word:
... This is Karen. Uh, John, I've got a personal question to ask you,
and you don't have to answer if you don't want to.
K: Do you like Terri?
J: Does she like me?
K: As more than just a friend?
J: Does she like me as more than just a
K: I don't know.
K: Well, would you like her as more than a friend?
J: (Pause) I don't know ... I guess so.
is the gist of the conversation. I was ecstatic, and in a state of pure
shock. I told Karen, "Yes yes yes yes YES YESS!! I like him as more
than a friend!!" Sooo ... Karen called him back up!
J: Yeah. K: Um, this is Karen, and I just called up Terri and asked her
if she likes you as more than a friend.
J: (Silence) K: Well, she said yes, so, do you like her?
J: (with absolutely no hesitation) Yah.
K: More than a friend?
K: OK, that's all I wanted to know.
John is such a boy so sweet,
No finer guy you'd want to meet.
With golden hair and angel eyes
He knows just how to captivize
My heart, my soul, my very life -
And I would gladly be his wife.
sick. Terri, that is TERRIBLE. Boy, you really are lovesick, aren't
boy. I really need to let off a lot of steam ... immediately. I'm so
frustrated and semi-depressed that I can't even think straight. This
could have been a really terrific evening, and it SHOULD have been. I
went to evening Bible Study, John was there, and the promises of things
to come were great. I felt good, I looked good. So what happens? John
totally, completely ignores me! I mean it: he didn't say one
word to me all night. I never even saw him LOOKING at me, for Pete's
sake!!! The one and only consolation that I have is that during
singing, he sat by me -- if you can call it that,
that is. He sat on the end of the pew and I sat on the floor beside
him, and when Steve Grover told him to "scoot down, Riley, so I can sit
down," he absolutely refused to budge. Good! But still ...
I am in love with the guy, for crying out loud, and we pretend like we
don't even know each other. Honestly.
course it isn't all his fault. There were several opportunities where I
could have talked to him or something - like when I could have sat by
him during singing. The only thing is, I don't want to be too pushy and
scare him off! But I don't want to lose him, either, the same way I
lost Kenny, Brian, Ken B., Marty, etc. etc., by being too quiet and
shy and afraid. What can I do???
wasn't at Sunday School this morning (neither was Brian) and it was
Overdue library books
2. No money from babysitting
3. The retreat
4. My complexion
5. My braces
wish I had:
hair of Cheryl Nyholm
The eyes of Kimberly Gilbert
The nose & figure of Lori Nelson
The smile of Kathy Smith
The complexion of Thea Emery
The clothes of Kim Hankins
The personality of Phloogle
The popularity of Kathy Hanks
The spirituality & laugh of Kathy Nelson
The brains of Sandi Mecham
... I am very content with what God has given me, and I just want to
praise His name for making me as lucky as I am.
Pardon the profanity, but that's how I feel. Like a stupid idiot, I
went and chopped off my hair into layers, Miss Know-It-All of 1972, and
it looks absolutely horrible. Why, why, WHY couldn't I have left well
enough alone????? My hair was beautiful
the way it was, finally one length after growing out of that pukey
shag, and it was really neat. It was looking a little wild this
evening, I must admit, but what could you
expect after just being drenched in that filthy Angle Lake
water? So did I just leave it alone and reason that it probably would
look better in the morning? NO. I go off on some wild whim instead,
grab the scissors and start shearing away. And boy, did I make one big
mess of it ... one side is shorter than the other, and it's HORRIBLE.
Sob, sob, I feel so rotten it's unbelievable. I hate
myself when I do stuff like this.
going to go take another quick look at it in the bathroom mirror and
see how it looks.
moment later: after taking a second look and thinking it over, it
really isn't that bad. I think that a good night's sleep will help me
get over it. HOWEVER: If I had it to do over again, I would have asked
God's will first.
God, of course, is vitally interested in whether or not Terri
Vert cuts her hair in an adorable shag. (We should probably remember to
check with Him before we have that bikini wax, too.)
-n- John = Love 4/ever
ick, ick. In 12 days, poor little ol' me has got to discard my summer
clothes, say goodbye to sleeping in late, going barefoot and golden
summer days, and trudge back to dull, dreary school. I DON"T WANT TO GO
BACK TO SCHOOL AT ALL. This was the best summer of my life, and I'll
cry when it's over. That's funny ... I cried when school ended and
summer started, and now I'll cry when summer's over and school starts.
Hmmm ... life sure takes some bizarre twists.
cannot wait for the retreat! John, Marty, Brian, Karen, Dan
K., lots of kids are going. Fun, fun. I can't wait to go "home" to Camp
Firwood, to see my tree and my bunk and my note and all those beloved
little things that I adore ...
am very confused and very unhappy. Right now it's about 10:30 or maybe
11:00 in the morning on a Monday. I'm back at my beloved Camp Firwood
again, on a church retreat. I'm sitting on the steps of good ol' Cabin
7 - I can hear the swimmers below me, splashing and screaming and
having a good time. It's a nice, sunny, warm day, and I feel at home.
- I like John a LOT. That is definate to me now. The question: Does he
like me or now? And if so, why does it seem like he's avoiding me? Sad,
(Robbins) invited me to go sailing this afternoon ... how
(and I) have been growing apart somehow lately. She's more interested
in material things, I guess (classic example: a TAN), while I'm trying
to straighten my head around as to my spiritual growth. There's a lot
of things that have happened this summer that I haven't told her about
yet ... she wouldn't understand. Anyhow, despite her shortcomings,
she's a terrific person (where does she get all her energy?) and if
anything happened to her I'd die. If only she could get her sense of
values straightened around ... there's so many things that seem so
important to her that in actuality are very trivial. She doesn't know
how much I pray for her ... We fight a lot, and I hate it. If
only she could learn ... but she has a lot she could teach me, I think,
with John are just fine. However, that's not what I've been thinking
about. I wonder - am I putting too much emphasis myself on what I
proclaim to be "the trivial," i.e. material, earthly things that are
really of no heavenly value? Do I use my relationships with people for
my own advantage, to gain status? Hmmm ... for instance, do I like John
because of what he is inside, as a fellow Christian, or because he's
cute and it's the "in" thing to have a boyfriend? I wish I knew for
really messed up in that area. Just last night she said, "I wish I had
a boyfriend." Wow! Is that ever the wrong attitude! Tusk would have
conniption fits if he ever heard that one! She's lumping all guys
together, seeing boys as possibilities instead of as people. I think I
felt that way a while back, when the most important thing in the world
was to have boyfriends and popularity (sixth grade, remember?). Anyway,
poor Karen. She means so much to me and I'm sure a lot of other people,
but she, as Tusk would say, "doesn't have her head straightened
around." What's happening to Karen and I? We just don't get along at
all anymore ... we disagree all the time, and lately she's been cordial
but very COLD towards me. I guess what it boils down to is she's
people-hungry -- she must have admiration and
acceptance to survive (or so it seems) and I simply don't.
I was a pretty sanctimonious
little priss, wasn't I?
ME WHY, LORD
me why, Lord
Why I'm here
Tell me why, Lord
The meaning ain't clear
When I feel that life is just a total loss
Did you waste your time dyin' on the cross?
Tell me why.
When you came to earth did you feel the pain?
Did you feel the emptiness that sadness brings?
Tell me true, Lord, 'cause I'm dying to know
Tell me, 'cause that's why I sing
Tell me why, Lord
Why I'm here
Tell me why, Lord
The meaning ain't clear
Will you really save, or is that just a story?
Do you really have all love and grace and glory?
Tell me why.
Can you hear me now, while I'm standing here
Or am I talking to an empty sky?
Give me truth, Lord, 'cause I'm crying to know
Tell me, 'cause that's why I sing
Tell me why ...
August 19, 1972 7:30 p.m.
one week before school.
came back from the retreat at about 6:00 tonight. It was a fantastic
retreat, really - I had a terrific time. At lunchtime, Kenny, Jerry,
Phil, Colleen, Brian and me sat down at the usual table, and John was
standing towards the end of the line with Mike Baxter. Kenny
and I made a twenty five cent bet -- I said that John would
not sit at the empty space beside me, that he'd be too shy, and Kenny
said that he would sit down next to me.
So what does Kenny do??? He goes up to John, who was still in line
(waiting for the cooks to heat up some soup) and TOLD him to sit by me
so he could win the bet! Yah, he sat there all right, but it
was slightly embarrassing.
the REAL embarrassing part was after the frog races and the water
free-for-all, when we'd hiked up that huge hill with our luggage and
stuff. Colleen, Brian and I got there first, and we went into the bus
to get good seats. I sat down in a seat by myself towards the back,
hopefully saving it for John, and Ken, Colleen, Jim and Brian all sat
around me. When John finally came onto the bus, they all practically
jumped on him. "Oooooh Riley, sit here by Terri!" "She
doesn't mind your chipped tooth!" "She wants you!" "Ah, c'mon Riley,
get it on!" etc. etc. He was so embarrassed, it was
terrible -- he just stood there in the aisle,
smiling and getting all red and stuff, and I was just dying. Finally he
went and sat by Phil. DARN! DRAT!!!!! I was so mad! I went up and knelt
by him for a second and said "Are you mad?" He said "No."
Well, I went back to my seat and just sat there, glaring out
the window and practically crying. Brian saw me and he announced, "Hey
Riley, she's mad." After a while John came over and said "Terri?"
you want me to sit by you?"
sat by me all the way home, and although he didn't touch me at all, we
really had some good talks. He's really super sweet and I'm really
crazy about him. Praise the Lord!
John -n- Terri
August 30, 1972
What an absolutely terrific evening I had!!
wasn't too bad, either. Karen came over and spent the day (natch). We
sang most of the time - especially "Tell Me Why, Lord," the song that I
wrote. We just plain goofed around. In the late afternoon, Karen called
up John and he said that he wouldn't be going to Bible Study tonight. I
was all downcast and depressed, and I decided that I wouldn't go
either. Boy, would that have been a mistake! Well, I decided to go
after all. I got there at 6:00, and 11 people from our winning team,
Team #2 (Agapae) went to Farrell's Ice Cream Parlor (including Phil and
Peggy). It wasn't all that great - we were all stone silent on the way
over - we got back to the church at 7:15. Bible Study had already
started, so we all went into Rob's group in the sanctuary. It was
really fun - I was in a terrific mood, and we had some neat kids in our
group - Karen, Shaggy, Jim Abel, Betty and Peggy Tate - and we got to
talking about the retreat and stuff. (Remember writing an "X" on Jim
Abel's neck?) After Bible work, we had a Bible drill until the rest of
the kids came in. Ken and Brian were there. We sang a bunch of songs,
and I was really high-spirited and bouncy, and Ken just kept looking at
me and stuff. When it was time for prayer requests, I told them about
Dick, saying he was "my friend" (Remember saying to Ryan, "Oh, you're
cute," and everyone going "Oooooohhh!") and about Elaine, my relative
who died recently. Afterwards I talked to Jim and Kenny, told them
about Dick - and they're going to come over tomorrow and talk to him.
I was getting a ride home with the Tates, Peggy goes, "Everyone says
that Kenny likes you." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
late afternoon, and I'm sitting outside with the menagerie, leaning
against the house.
dear, dear, dear - I'm in love, and it's so perplexing. The lucky (?)
guy is John Riley (of course), but the sticky part is that I never see
him, and when I do, he never "does" anything (if you know what I mean).
And it's beginning to worry me. I mean, well, I know the kid is shy and
all, but isn't this a little on the abnormal side? He never shows any
signs of affection, except occasionally sitting by me (when my friends
pressure him into it) and doing an awful lot of staring. Yah, he looks
at me a lot - whoopee. He never touches me, and it bugs me. Sometimes,
I'll be sitting by him or something, and the urge for him to touch me
will be so overpowering that I'll practically have to sit on my hands
to keep from reaching over and doing it for him. Horrible. Maybe when
school starts I'll see him more (hope, hope). There's about a 1 in a
million chance that I'll get him in my T.A. class, but I must confess
that's been my little hope all summer. But, it's extremely doubtful.
All things considered, it took a 1 in a million chance for John and I
to even get together in the first place! He's a year younger than me,
and he runs around with a different crowd. However (Lori P., Kelly C.
and Anita S. just walked past my house carrying their
new cheer uniforms) now that he and I have gotten together, it's really
first started liking him on June 16, 1972, on the ride over to Lilly
Dell Dunes. I sat by Phil that day, and across the aisle and one up
were John and Karen. It hit me then - it was just that quick. I told
Karen, and kept nonchalently going over there to "talk" to Karen. I
even wore John's jacket part way home! Anyhow, that's how it all
I've still got to get (for school):
White tennis shoes
red tank top
don't want to go back to school at all.
Summer has been an absolute blast, the Number #1 best summer of my
fourteen years, and going back to school is like returning to slavery.
ICK. I've still got to get that idiotic black skirt for Pep Club, and I
haven't got the faintest idea where I'm going to get it.
To Summyre '72
All that I've known and loved!
The time has come,
And I'm so afraid to
How can I tell you?
Simply saying "It's been fun"
No, somehow I must show you
How much you've meant to me.
You brought me so much,
And all is cherished.
Endless carefree days of
Sunshine and laughter and
Being in love.
I'll cry, for sure,
But yet I wonder ...
With each tear and each beloved memory,
You will grow ever
Remember me -
Hail and farewell.
(And this was BEFORE I started taking drugs.)
still be asleep if I didn't wake up anyway." Ted Baxter
September 1, 1972
early in the morning, I went over to Cindy Abel's house. She is
really sweet, you wouldn't believe it! She just got back from a drug
rehabilitation center, now she's living with her sister Julie, brothers
Jim, Buddy and Billy, and we're really getting to be good friends.
Anyway, we went to a 2-hour meeting at the church, for all the young
people who were interested in making this forthcoming school year
really worthwhile, and it was terrific. Tom Horton directed it, and we
really had a lot of good suggestions. After the meeting I went to my
cousin (? ... her mother, Alice Bierce, is Dad's cousin) Elaine's funeral. It
was really beautiful. Brian Watkins was there, and he and I had a really
neat talk. He's pretty sweet. After that, I went back to Cindy's,
changed clothes, and then she and I went to Southcenter for a while. I
bought some black bobby sox for Pep Club, and a little tiny card with
owls on it that I'm going to send to Kerry.
September 2, 1972
I accidentally fell through a glass window and cut my shoulder rather
badly. As a result, I had to be taken to the hospital and have several
stitches. It all happened this way: Dick, Karen and me were home alone.
Dick and I were having an argument: I said something about him being
caught shoplifting last week. He got really mad and charged at me with
the mop. I was sitting on the couch, and, thinking I was about to get
beaten to a pulp, screamed and fell backwards into the window. I didn't
even know I'd been hurt or cut or anything until I heard and saw
shattered glass and saw the blood. I was so completely calm, I couldn't
believe it - Karen went to get a towel, Dick went to get Jody (our
neighbor). I was so calm! Everyone else was practically in hysterics.
Karen and I prayed, and I felt real peace. Jody took me over to
Riverton General, then Dad came later.
now I'm all bandaged up and feel like a mummy. It doesn't hurt - yet.
I've got a bunch of stitches.
neat-o cool-o thing was that John called
tonight! Love 'im!
spending zee night.
is the end of summer, '72 ... the memory will live forever.
be sure and pick up a copy of:
4, "9th Grade"
Ledger 5, "Interlude"
Ledger 6, "Something's Comin' ..." (Summer 73)
at a local
bookstore near you.
it? will it be? ever again? faded memories, touched and touching,
parted, and yet never parted from me ...
images of yesterday, fleeting fast and gone with the summer breeze,
sights and sounds of what was, and what will never again be ...
shadows from the night, reaching out, calling over and over and over
what shall be? what shall we face when we open the door, when reality
finds the key that opens our hearts to sadness and despair? can we find
our refuge? will there be a way back home? the laughter, the tears,
shared on endless carefree summer days of idle youth ...
*maximum effect* you're supposed to read this while listening to Judy
Collins' "Nightingale 2" (from "Whales & Nightingales")
Note scribbled at bottom of the page:
I'll have to agree, this is the best summer yet. God bless!
scribbled at the top of the journal page in my Dad's
handwriting: "This is the end of
nothing! Rober J. Veret.")