know. The wedding-countdown meter at the bottom of the *FootNotes* splash page is tacky and dorky and incredibly self-indulgent ... and the java
script plays havoc with some of the older, funkier web browsers out
there (like ours) ... and it's the surest indication yet that
SecraTerri & DRaftervoi really and truly believe that *they*
are the center of the universe, cyber and otherwise.
precisely why I love it so much.
morning when I saw that the counter had flipped overnight, from 100
to 99, I let out a yell of pure, unadulterated joy.
We're in double-digit-territory now, folks!!
my lunch hour today, I closed my office door and spent some quality
time with my calculator. Here is how those ninety-nine days break down
of coffee consumed between now and July 21st: 1,980
of St. Johns's Wort: 81,000[hey: if it
ain't broke ... don't fix it.]
of delicious nutritious SlimFast: 198
in the Totem Pole Company Elevator: 882
of ridiculously expensive, yes-I-know-I'm-paying-for-the-brand-name
(but it smells better than Suave) L'Oreal Plenitude Line Eraser at
$15.98 a pop: 4
Anxiety Dreams: 28
drooling Saturday afternoon naps: 14
of laundry (cold wash/delicate cycle/drip-dry): 13
off from the Totem Pole Company: 31
flown between here and TicTac: 2,720
popping up in unexpectedly ridiculous places on my body ... like the
inside of my EAR, forcryingoutloud: 9.6
to wake up and say "Rabbit Rabbit" for good luck: 3
pairs of No Nonsense Sheer Endurance Pantyhose purchased: 24.7
pairs of No Nonsense Sheer Endurance Pantyhose destroyed before lunch:
*Days From Hell*: 3
Shoes/Ridiculous Undergarment Days: 63
on our home answering machine: 220
of "The Executary" I dump directly into the trash: 4
with Miss Clairol: 2.5
charges on the AT&T bill: $113.85
graduating from high school this spring: 1
who will send me a thank-you card for anything: 1
of Sundays I will probably miss church: 14
in the bathroom: 43,897,621
(including the two most important holidays of the spring, Mother's Day
and SecraTerri's Day): 5
e-mails from ozemail accounts, offering deep discounts on Viagra for
deposits to my checking account: 6
I can watch all three hours of The Matt Lauer Show (Starring Matt Lauer
& Some Other People): 9
until I freak out over the idea of getting married again: 98
until I get over my temporary bout of pre-wedding *jitters* and
remember why I'm doing this in the first place: 98.5
until one of the finest moments of my entire life: 99
course, looking at it this way makes the wait seem even longer
than 99 days. But then again, any time I start to get antsy and anxious
between now and then, feeling as though The Big Day is never going to
get here, all I have to do is fire up the piece-of-crap computer ...
point our decrepit browser in the direction of *FootNotes* ...
watch the countdown.