Live From The Blimpcam!
Turn on Monday Night Football!!
Oakland Raiders are playing the Denver SomethingOrOthers, RIGHT
THIS VERY MINUTE!
I know ... you're not a sports fan. Neither am I, really. (My pal
Mizzle wanted me to watch the World Series last night and help her root
for New York, but I had to tell her that I don't follow basketball.
Sorry, Mizz.) That's not why I want you to turn on the football game,
anyway. The reason I want you to turn it on is that
every once in a while the Blimpcam goes wide and gives you a shot of
the area immediately surrounding the Oakland Coliseum ... and if you
look very, very, very closely -- sit right in front of the TV screen
and look as hard as you can, OK? -- you can see my new office building!
that dark nondescript grayish-greenish-blackish building , just to the
north (or is it the south? or the west?) of the main parking lot ...
the big building with lots of windows, right next to all of the other
dark nondescript grayish-greenish-blackish buildings with lots of
me think here for a second: what other landmarks can I give you? My
building has a smallish parking lot in the front, and a larger parking
lot in the rear. (Although that's probably not going to help you much
because right now both parking lots are filled with RV's and tailgate
picnic aftermath. After 2 p.m. or so, they opened our parking lots up
to the general public, to accomodate Coliseum overflow: I had drunken
Raiders fan urinating under my office window all afternoon.) There are
four or five big aluminum warehouses across the street, and an
automobile scrap yard, two or three doors down, right next to the big
pile of abandoned railcars. Oh -- and there's a BART station, about
half a mile away, just off the freeway.
any of this help?
then. How about this: it's the building with the teeny-tiny Executive
Ass standing in one window, waving at you.
you see her?
wearing her good gray skirt suit with the jungle-print blouse ...
except that she's swapped out the suit jacket for her Ugly Emergency
Sweater because something went wrong with the heating/cooling system in
her building today, and the air conditioner has been set at "Arctic
Tundra" since 2 p.m. She's got little dots of pink nail polish running
up and down her legs -- opening big boxes of dirt is murder on
pantyhose, she's discovered -- and she's got Band-Aids on every finger
except her left little finger. But she's having a Good
Hair Day, at least, and she's thankful for that. Small favors are small
her waving at you?
probably notice that she's smiling. It's not much of a smile, maybe ...
it looks a little wobbly and unpracticed ... but that's because she
hasn't had a lot of reason to smile, the past week or so. Most of the
misery she's endured lately has been her own invention, of course.
Nobody forces you to carry a grudge or maintain a huff or sleep alone
on the sofa. But she's trying really hard to snap out of it already:
give her another day or two, and she'll be mostly back to normal.
don't see a teeny-tiny Executive Ass, waving at you from the window?
OF COURSE you don't! That's because she
went home two hours ago, forcryingoutloud, and she's sitting at home
now with her husband ... waiting for the chicken pizza to cook,
checking her e-mail, rubbing a little Neosporin into the paper cuts,
relaxing after a long day at The Dirt Company ...
and most definitely NOT watching Monday Night