September 24, 1998
Rooting For The Steamroller
Well, I continue to draw breath, in spite of this week's unscheduled re-match with The Steamroller Flu. I'm certain that my core group of *fans* (hi Mom) will be thrilled and relieved to hear this.
The rest of you were probably rooting for The Steamroller.Actually, I went back to work yesterday. I could have taken another day off. I should have taken another day off. But frankly the idea of spending another day alone here in The Tree House, feeling sick and sad and sorry for myself, was almost as appealing as an enema ... or as appealing as being forced to endure Donny & Marie's new "talk show" again ...
So off I went to the office yesterday morning, lugging the world's hugest bottle of Gatorade Lemon Ice and a box of Pally Cholesterol-Free MarieBiscuits. I spent most of the day yesterday hunched over the switchboard, blearily answering phone calls. ("Good morning, this is The Knife Company. May I put you on hold for twenty-four minutes, or can I just hang up on you now and be done with it?")
At one point in the morning's festivities, the new Administrative Assistant was brought to the front desk during her tour of the building. "Terri is the nerve center of our operation," she was told about me. "Our customers get their first impression of our company from her."
The new Administrative Assistant gave me a twinkly appreciative smile.
I woke up long enough to give her a bleary nod, wipe the drool from my forehead with the sleeve of my sweater and say "Are the keys still in the ignition, Uncle Paul?"
And then I resumed my coma.